Is it time up for the Rose-Gold Goose?
Goose used to be the traditional choice for the main dish at a British Christmas, but for the last century, it’s been turkey. The association is at the core of the idiom turkeys voting for Christmas — a phrase used to describe situations in which we make choices that are against our interests.
And there is no finer example than “Make America Great Again” — the bird-brained slogan and movement of Donald Trump’s flock. The poorest, least educated and most vulnerable people backing a man who will do nothing for them is sad indeed, but there’s another way in which they are turkeys voting for Christmas, and it’s a problem none of them are seeing…
Back to 2020
It could have been different four years ago. What if it had been different? Given three wishes, would MAGA followers today use one to go back to 2020 and change history? Slip Trump those extra 11,780 votes in Georgia and have him win? I’m sure we’d hear ‘HELL YEAH!’ in a heartbeat. But if history had been different, and Trump had won his second term, it would now be pretty much over. A few final puffs from a deflating party balloon. No one can serve more than two terms. Trump would soon be as irrelevant as Clinton, Bush and Obama, castrated by the Constitution and forever benched. The Republican party, having allowed itself to be consumed, would become a lifeless husk once the parasite had gone. MAGA would be forced to wake up, back in Kansas, back in depressing underachieving complicated old reality. But he didn’t win, … so the fantasy lived on.
The End is Nigh
So it should occur to his supporters, here in 2024, that once again they’ll be voting for his future political impotence, they’re drawing up his post-dated political death warrant — they’re voting to end their fantasy. In a twice-roasted way, they are turkeys voting for Christmas. If he wins, in just four years it’ll all be gone. He’ll be finished and he’ll take MAGA with him. The fantasy will die. No hope, no way back, no resurrection for their messiah.
So… perhaps his supporters should help him … lose? Then they can keep basting their turkey, postpone those vinegar strokes, and keep the fantasy alive. Spiced and re-energized with that sweet and sour injustice of once again being robbed, … another stolen election, another great wrong that must be avenged!
And then, the beautiful rotten cherry on top, … yes, he’s running again! Trump 2028! The magic lives on, MAGA lives on, burning bright as ever! Sure, he’s 82, and more senile than Biden ever was, but so what, he’s Trump! Once you accept criminality, narcissism, vileness and idiocy, a heavy dose of senility isn’t putting anyone off!
And what then? Another loss. More righteous pain, more sweet injustice, a third stolen election! And the fantasy grows even stronger, it puts down roots and becomes a legend.
And on it goes! 2032. Trump, now 86, is fully senile, but no one cares, most don’t even notice. And he can still run for office, deep in the grip of dementia — there’s nothing in the Constitution that prevents it.
To the relief of the MAGA turkeys, he loses once again. And so on it goes … on to 2036. Now he’s 90, brain dead, and on life support, but to the devout he’s still better than the rest!
And then, finally, the full transition to eternal MAGA. 2040. The fresh corpse of Trump storms the primaries and gets the nod once again. And this is no GOP Weekend At Bernie’s. Everyone knows he’s dead. But his spirit has never been stronger! And it’s all legal. The Constitution doesn’t exclude dead people from running, … only dead people who have served two terms!
And nuts as it is, his supporters will make it feel viable. If he can govern from prison, if he can govern from a coma, why not govern from the afterlife? The evangelicals could receive his instructions and carry out executive orders, insult and sexually abuse people on his behalf, pardon the turkey at Thanksgiving, pardon himself whenever required.
Then there is no end. So long as his preserved corpse runs — and crucially — never quite gets elected, the fantasy will never end, Trumpsters can stay over the rainbow forever, on and on and on and on! The eternal Republican candidate. MAGA, MAGA, MAGA!
So if you are one of the faithful and believe in your cause, don’t kill the rose-gold goose, keep it fat and caged, keep it serving your fantasy — vote Democrat!
Colton.
All images in this article were created by Gordon Meal for Colton Lazars.
Images 1, 3, 4 and 5 were created using Playground AI base image with novel adaptations
Image 2 was created using People Standing Holding Flags image by Colin Lloyd under the Unsplash license with novel adaptations
Image 6 was created using Playground AI base image with Death Skull under the Pixabay license with novel adaptations
Playground AI elements are used with acknowledgment of license terms.
If you were disturbed by this article, why not make yourself a stiff drink and dive into the Miracle of Jesus and the Espresso Martini? 😃
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