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At the start of it all, Christian is just like anyone else looking for excuses not to write his novel. But when a powerful woman takes an unholy interest in his work, his life and his destiny change forever.

Meanwhile, from countless afterlife lounges, a capricious, lazy and gravy-stained individual is watching. From a darker place, a cross-dressing alpha autocrat is watching, too. Between them they will tear Christian apart.


Accompanied by a faithful fraction of someone he will never meet and almost all of a stranger he just can’t shake, Christian embarks on a disturbing supernatural journey of discovery and survival.

Thirty Things To Do After You Die

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The greatest fantasy novel I have read in decades.

Jules Verne

The meaning of life is that it stops. Lazars asks us what is left when we know it does not.

Franz Kafka

Totally freakin’ awesome!

René Déscartes

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"...and then there were the eyes. Eyes that had witnessed the entirety of history – not just human history, but history full stop, there for every event from before the beginning of time. They should have been infinitely jaded, infinitely dark, burdened beyond comprehension with the unending horror of eternity, and yet they appeared fresh as a pair of Polos."

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"...all the units were hard-wired to the Judea Essentials range. As well as a selection of simple clothing, tools and basic materials, they were able to produce a few luxury items such as combs, brooches and tasselled felt hats. For the first arrivals, the sight of a smooth shiny cupboard that could summon into being a serviceable pair of sandals had been the stuff of dreams."

"Although something had gone badly wrong, he could still see himself, he could touch himself – his arms, his legs, his body, his cushions and his armrests."

"...he’d often seen Gordon nip into the cupboard for some papyrus or a pack of pencils, but he’d never ventured in himself, he’d never needed to. And besides, what was there to see? It was a stationery cupboard. Walk-in, yes, but there’s walk-in and there’s walk-in. This was hold-a-major-tennis-tournament-in."

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